I remembered the first night I learned about The Balance. My father spoke those words so tenderly, almost in a whisper that could fly off with the wind. He took me to Gaea to show my feeble mind what it was, and the souls who could convey it best. 

The blackened heavens revealed the crevices in his features, and pronounced the shadow of a skin that was his. Much like the night, no light could penetrate it nor reflect it — light was non-existent there. It was all but reality. I questioned him about this choice; I didn’t understand it, but he simply laid my curiosity to rest and advised me that it was best to look like they did while we were here. And so, to appease him, I did not take the layers off of me and I hid what I was.

“Good and evil”, he spoke — those were the weights on the two scales of balance. One could not exist without the other and so one could not outshine the other. At least, this was the version that mortals could comprehend. Both should have equal chances of favor, yet something so tempting about the darkness draws them in.

One by one they fell, acting on their immoral impulses and paying the price for it once the cycle was over. It did not take long, for time was not a concept for our kind. We wait and we receive, that was the way it was in their perdition, but my home. I often watch them descend into the red pit where I was told the flames would rid them of their atrocities. I often cogitated that this was a good thing; an act in the name of one of the weights of the scales, but their petrified screeches warn me otherwise.

I was but a child when I observed this. I could not yet understand such matters, for the events I observed in Gaea tell me that such shrieks were the result of an act in the name for the other weight — the less favorable one — evil. Never once would I dare to question father’s teachings, but even at a tender age, I knew he didn’t escort me here to silence my wonders, he wished for me to flourish them and to see how everything was on a different spectrum. But, he wanted me to accomplish this great feat on my own. And so, I decided to cast an inquiry while my chances have yet to escape the tips of my fingers.

He told me we had to do His bidding, even if it meant the need to endure a horrible name for ourselves. I truly was not informed of their thoughts about us and I never realized it. I watched them from afar, here or there I could not get too close or I would frighten their souls to the core. They thought of harm in the presence of our name, I know by now that fear envelops their thoughts when they initiate to ponder about us. But what they do not comprehend is that father and the others are fulfilling their sacred task for the rest of eternity; a task that would fall on my shoulders when He deems it so.

We wait and receive, I hushed my tones. We purify them until they are clean before they are free to rest with Him. We do not taunt their thoughts, we do not persuade them to do the bad. These are all false pretenses to save them from the blame, but it is alright as father reckoned it so. That night I felt a hint of what they call rage, I do not defy our way but it is their way I do not respect.

Father had known this. He had taken in their pleas and their harsh sayings as they entered the damnation. Even when he denied me a confirmation, I too, had known that this was a part of our way of life, and when the time comes, theirs. 

He told me to gaze upon Gaea’s darkened yonder and asked me what it was that laid in my line of vision; what it was I understood as I saw. “An entity short of one moon”, I answered. This seemed to please him for the moment, but it didn’t suffice the answer in his perception. “Nearly the time to witness”, I added. 

Father placed his palm on my shoulder and shone a miniscule smile upon me. ‘That is true’, he said before returning his gaze upon the heavens. The air in Gaea was cold, but not freezing as my expectations had decided. The breeze would caress my skin before running wild wherever it went. The air in the abyss was never as light as this; it was heavy, but it was suited better to my likings.

I truly watched father that night, no matter how far his wings spanned, he was never as free as the wind, but his wisdom and knowledge granted him a fraction of what is known as freedom. They were darker than mine, blending into the sky like an unnoticed topping as he flew in the concoction of darkness. They did not make a sound, not even a hush in the quickest of movements. He was good, very good, but he was representing the side of evil for the Lord.

One moon at a time, he said. It was a time that I had never failed to favor. I’d rest and observe as the light bestows a chosen one the prize of worthiness and lifts them into the sacred unknown above. One moon rises and one moon falls, over and over they’d be lifted. The line was a long one, it was unknown to fairness, but I hadn’t dared to question this, it was our way.

Those who had the sanity to wait will receive their reward but those who do not will fall back into the flames to wait an eternity longer. One soul would wait for a snap of a time and others would have to dance in the fires for centuries. They would shriek and attempt to climb the cliffs, but they would only descend further. 

No one would dare to defy the law created by the Archangels and the Lord. A deal was a deal, it should be honored for the rest of time’s existence, but this wasn’t enough. One moon at a time would corrupt their souls and turn it into the greatest danger they couldn’t even recognize or control.

More than one of them deserves to rest on each rising moon. The light should not favor just a single soul to redeem as they wait and wait till they fall back. The cycle starts and the cycle ends, and with each one, thousands would have already fallen further. I do not take a liking to their perception of our kind, but that does not equal a hatred I’d be expected to possess for them. 

I understand the discrimination against us, but I also understand our duty. We serve the Lord and only Him no matter the cost for our name. When the time is right, a discussion with Gabriel will be held in my name. But for now, for this lifetime, I will do what needs to be done, for I am Astra, daughter of Astaroth.